A Nuclear Apocalypse May Be Around The Corner

Ah, if there was ever a time to feel fear for your country it would be now. With North Korea showing off its latest range of ballistic missiles by launching them into the sea of Japan, and parading them around as if it were a part of the Santa Clause Parade, I’d say buy the first ticket out or build a fucking bunker… a damn good one.

It’s no wonder companies like Oribe Seiki Seisakusho are building bunkers strong enough to survive an atomic blast -and for ONLY $225,000 (What a steal). But don’t worry, that price comes with an interior decorator who will paint your forever pad with visions of palm tress and sunshine so that you can enjoy your post-apocalyptic “vaca” with a little less anxiety as you spend the remainder of your life underground; for fear of becoming the Elephant Man from radiation exposure.

Just this month alone, sales sky rocketed with a total of eight shelters sold! That’s two more than the company sold in all of 2016. The “shopping spree” was prompted by the mounting tension between Japan and North Korea.

Unfortunately, it takes time and money to build a shelter, so if you believe that an apocalypse is coming like company CEO Seiichiro Nishimoto, who built his own bunker beneath his two-story home in a quiet neighborhood in Osaka – you best be saving some serious cash in preparation. And if you don’t have the funds and find yourself SOL, I say find yourself a roomie and try to bunk up in this windowless bunker that can accommodate 13 people and features a fire-proof metal door, a Geiger counter, and concrete walls 12 inches thick. A hand-cranked generator provides power, and an air purifier filters airborne toxins.

This will now be your safe haven from nuclear wars and/or zombie attacks. Peace be with you.