KW

RAYA – THE CELEBRITY DATING APP

Just when you thought dating in today’s day in age was rough, Raya makes it even harder for those seeking quality “Netflix and chill” companions – especially if you’re a nobody. Filtering out all the “garbage” for you (which is 99.9% of the dating world) Raya makes this experience super exclusive and elite.

Yes, another damn dating app I wish I could have thought of – especially this one. It’s egotistical, superficial and genious all in one! No more junk mail from “Hi I’m Steve, let’s “Netflix and chill”, I mean, that’s so mundane and un original right? Raya is more refined and sophisticated, “Hi I’m Bill, I’m either A) An Actor B) An Artist C) Model/Vlogger D) Just rich & have connections and I may or may not respond back because I am the shit, here is my entire archive of all the celebs I know with my fab choice in music that represents me as a person (song of choice: “Fetty Wap – Trap Queen”) and BTW let’s “Netflix and chill”.” And for those of you who don’t get the meaning of “Netflix and chill” it’s another way of asking someone, “Are you down to F” Yeaaaa,,, what happened to our world… ?

Let’s just cut the bullshit and be real here, if you’re an unattractive, poor and talentless you’re SOL, like don’t even bother downloading this app – we are talking about 21st century Rosa Parks treatment here – “You have 800 followers on Instagram!? Go back to the Tinder bus where you belong.” And yes, they select you based on your followers, connections and popularity.

What makes Raya appealing is their “privacy” feature, I mean how tempting is it to take a screen shot of Zedd (because he’s totally on there) and send his profile around to your group chat. Luckily, Zedd is “protected” with Raya’s slap on the wrist warning message threatening to kick you off, but it still doesn’t stop users from taking a pic with another phone duhhhhh 😉

Once you are accepted into the Raya’s community, sit back, relax, and pat yourself on the back – you made it! I mean the possibility of getting rejected by a group of individuals you have never met before can be stressful. Lastly, you will have to pay a small fee to join, but don’t worry you will make that back with a fancy burger date that costs more than my car.